what I'm loving

Some things I'm currently loving are...

♥ that all my friends are blogging right now.
Our district has some pretty forward-thinking teachers, so it's cool how we're all sharing small moments of our daily lives with one another in March.

♥ that spring is coming!
Pretty sure we turn the clocks ahead next weekend. St. Patty's Day is coming (one year it was like 65 in Chicago that day, hoping for that!) Baseball is coming. Spring break is coming. WHen the sun is out, my spirits have an instant lift!

♥ rituals and traditions.
Fat Tuesday is here, tomorrow Ash Wednesday, and it's the season of Lent. Easter will be here soon. I love these parts of the calendar each year to remind me of things in life, and that they signal new easons are upon us!

♥ Hobby Lobby.
I've been dreaming of the gallery wall I want to create in my living room above my desk. Hobby Lobby has the best stuff for this, can't wait to share it with you once it's complete!

♥ my yearly visit to Lake Geneva with Lizzy!
Next weekend we will go to the spa and stay at the room her parents own at the resort. There's always a lovely brunch in there, too, can't wait to go!

♥ the app called Over.
If you like Word Swag, this one takes it up like 100 levels, but you can create amazing graphics and flyers from the convenience of your iPhone!

What are you loving at the moment?

tweet, tweet

Ahhh, spring in 8th grade. (Today it's 2 degrees in Chicago, but who's counting?) But ahhhh, spring in 8th grade. The kids are finding their boyfriends and girlfriends, and what esle could be better?

Well, what could be worse is your teacher calling you out on it.

There are these two kiddos who I especially adore. Let's call them Annie and Adam. I have known Annie since she was in fifth grade, when that was our last year at the elementary school. After that year, we both looped up (me back) to the middle school.

The following year, I had Adam in homeroom. Sixth graders are kinda shy, but he was always a personable kid. Annie and I lost a bit of touch until this year, but we have since reconnected and I see her, and Adam, every day again.

As eighth graders, these two are the best. They are funny, witty, smart, people persons. They are both in ELA with Andrea during block 4, and although I do not teach that block with her, I sometimes find myself in there after my other commitments, packing up to go home. Without a doubt, these two will ALWAYS find a way to say hello. Annie sits right by where my space is, and Adam usually needs his pencil sharpened (which is right by my space) about the time I return.

For most of the year, it was just fun and pleasantries. Until Annie and Adam became an item.

Now, I can do that thing that parents and teachers do - just a look and they'll blush.

But sometimes, I'll see them in the hall together, and I'll be like, "Hey Lovebirds!" (This is so reminiscent of Julia Bray, a coteacher I had about a decade ago, that I miss dearly.)

They will see, or hear this, and immediately blush and walk away from one another.

But the best? One afternoon I did this, and a friend of Adam's, let's call him Sam, followed up my greeting with "Tweet, tweet." 

Someone who understands me!

This is the best, especially with the kindest, funniest, happiest kids who will let it go and quietly remind me later to please stop. (I will not.)

chirp

I live in an apartment. Five units, three floors. I'm on the second floor, rear apartment. I love this home. When people visit they always tell me, "It's so cozy here." Yup.  This is part of the reason I'm cool being home by myself.

But there is a chirp happening. It's the smoke detector in the hallway to the units, somewhere. Throughout the day when I'm home, I hear it, but intermittently. So I hear it, think I should fix it, remind myself I don't have a ladder, and then continue with what I was doing in the first place.

But then it chirps again.

Totally reminded me of that modern family episode when Phil Dunphy (one of my fave characters of all time on TV) tries to fix his, check it out:

There mine goes again. I think I'll text my landlord and let him take care of it. After all, he's making the big bucks.

on being seen

I had a hard week. There were a lot of meetings, a lot of things to do, I didn't even realize my to do list was so long on Monday morning when I got to work. Does that ever happen to you? You come into work all casual and calm, and then it's like a bomb went off within 20 minutes? On a work level, that was how my week started.

Additionally I've been pretty aggravated on the dating scene. Usually the problem is I meet guys, and it's not a match. The last one was a match. But now the timing is off. Uggghhh.

I hadn't really reflected much on my week aside from being annoyed at how stressed I was. But then I woke up Friday morning to a text from a friend from school. It was a gif of a hug and her message said, "Felt like you could use a hug! You seemed down today and it made me sad friend."

I didn't realize how I was coming off so.....sad? But she did.

And this text message? Instant lift.

Is the best thing to be seen, or what? To know that there are people out there who care for you so much that they stop everything they are doing to send a message and let you know that you matter?

In the big grand scheme of life, I can't think of few other acts of love, like this one, that has the power to drastically change someone's day. So to my friend, and her coteacher who is also this way with me, thank you. My week is ending way better than how it started.

Cookie Complication

Can we talk about Girl Scout cookies for a hot second? Like, how I have no self control with them?

When your friends' kids are on Facebook being little entrepreneurs and promising funny videos when they hit 50 boxes sold, you place an order. Obviously, the cookies are delicious, so you were planning on it anyways, but then the videos make it even more precious.

I ordered four boxes this year: three Thin Mint and one S'mores. $20 seemed like a good donation. Except I'm only one person. I live alone. And I didn't gift any of the boxes to anyone.

I'm pretty embarrassed to say that I got the four boxes just one week ago. Three boxes are gone completely, and I've about finished a sleeve of Thin Mints as I am typing this.

I can go for WEEKS eliminating dairy, gluten, sugar, caffeine, alcohol and soy. AND YET, when the girl scout cookies arrive, my thinking turns into, "Well, at least if I just hurry up and eat them, they will be out of the house." Like, wuuuut?

And after a sleeve of Thin Mints? I know I will feel so terrible. But. I. Just. Can't. Stop.

So my request: please tell me I'm not the only one living this insanity at cookie time. Just a quick comment, and it can be as simple as that little emoji with his/her hand in the air. That would mean so much!

daring greatly {chapter 2}

You guys, I LOVE BRENE BROWN. Like admire her so much. I have all her books, have been reading her for years, and I'm so excited to share from Daring Greatly. It's a book I've read over and over and have bought over and over - because I lend them out and obviously it's amazing and so I don't get them back, but whatever! Everyone should have a copy!

Chapter two is all about debunking vulnerability mythes. There are four of them:

1. Vulnerability is a weakness.
2. I don't do vulnerability.
3. Vulnerability means letting it all hang out.
4. We can go it alone.

For the sake of brevity, I'm going to focus on the first, with some implications for teaching practice/living a great life. She begins with, "Vulnerability is a weakness." I love how in her research, she asked people what vulnerability is. Here are some of their responses:

• Asking for help
• Saying no
• Starting my own business
• Saying I love you first and not knowing if it will be reciprocated
• Hearing how much my son wants to make first chair in the orchestra and encouraging him while knowing that is's probably not going to happen
• The first date after my divorce
• Exercising in public, especially when I don't know what I'm doing and I'm out of shape
• Presenting my product/art/writing to the world and getting no response

Then she goes on to ask, "Do these sound like weakness?"

Because that's the thing. It feels vulnerable to do these things. But it looks like strength from the outside. She writes, "But there's no equation where taking risks, braving uncertainty, and opening ourselves up to emotional exposure equals weakness."

Then, in her research, she asked, "How does vulnerability feel?" Check out these responses:

• Not sucking it in anymore.
• It's where courage and fear meet.
• It feels so awkward and scary, but it makes me feel human and alive.
• Sweaty palms and a racing heart.
• Freedom and liberation.
• It feels like fear, every single time.
• Panic, anxiety, fear, and hysteria, followed by freedom, pride, and amazement - then a little more panic.
• Letting go of control.

And the answer that appeared over and over? Naked.

• Vulnerability is like being naked onstage and hoping for applause rather than laughter.
• It's being naked when everyone is fully clothed.
• It feels like the naked dream: You're in the airport and you're stark naked.

Brene writes how we love to see vulnerability in others, but want to mask ours. About the crux of the struggle, she writes,

"I want to experience your vulnerability but I don't want to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is courage in you and inadequacy in me. I'm drawn to your vulnerability but repelled by mine."

So what, how does this all play out in life? Like, in my life?

Let's start with teaching. Vulnerability is opening my classroom door to anyone who wants to come in. Vulnerability is telling my colleague or principals that I don't know how to do something. Vulnerability is telling the kiddo I just yelled at that I was wrong, and I'm sorry. Vulnerability is running a teaching Instagram and Twitter because I want to share my teaching life and connect with others, knowing some will look at it and think I'm full of myself. Vulnerability is letting others lead the way. Vulnerability is leaving a messy classroom and saying to myself, "there will be time tomorrow to clean this up." Vulnerability is going to my social worker, in tears about a student, saying I just don't understand their behavior, and listening as they remind me of how different disabilities play out in a classroom setting. Vulnerability is taking a mental health day. Vulnerability is running a reading and writing workshop, where the teacher has less "control." Vulnerability is moving on from a school that doesn't serve you anymore.  Vulnerability is confronting a colleague about a boundary they crossed.  Vulnerability is making your eighth grade students sit in a circle and share their highs and lows, appreciations, and plans for the weekend. Vulnerability is writing this blog post.

A little more personal? I'm 38 and single. Vulnerability is writing that, right there. We live in a society that shows us what I "should" be at this age, married, with kids. Except it hasn't played out that way for me, yet. Vulnerability is me telling you that I'm okay with that, because I have amazing friends and family in my life, and that I really enjoy my time alone, and that actually, in 2018 I met a bunch of cool guys, and that it just didn't work out for a various set of reasons. Vulnerability is me telling you that I'm not going to get all bent out of shape about it because I'd rather be focused on drawing good things into my life, that if I were to obsess over this silly little fact, I would only draw negative energy. (Vulnerability is me telling you that late 20's-early 30's I WAS all bent out of shape about it.) Vulnerability is me reminding myself, "Well, it only takes one right guy," and reiterating it to my best friends who are also my age and single that same is true for them. Vulnerability is me knowing that parts of this paragraph are justifying this little detail about my life, but I acknowledge that and yet, leave those details here anyways.

From a different angle? Vulnerability is doing the thing that many don't understand and/or approve of. Like, being a consultant with a Multi-Level Marketing Company. The one I love is Arbonne. Vulnerability is asking people every day, "Hey, has a friend told you about Arbonne?" knowing that many people laugh at me behind my back (or maybe even get at me about it to my face.)  Vulnerability is consistently putting myself out there in a way that many don't understand and most judge. Vulnerability is telling myself every day that it's okay to move forward with Arbonne, because although I can only see the first step of this journey, there's a huge staircase ahead of me that have the potential to yield amazing opportunities.

So why did I tell you all that stuff? Well, because this:

Because I want to live a life on fire. I want to feel loved and love on others. I want to create amazing possibilities in my future. I want my students to know that I don't know everything about life/ELA but I do love the hell out of them. Same for my colleagues and friends and family. Life is too short to hide. I'm not about that. It's scary, but I'm just going to let is all hang out.

This is a book EVERYONE should have on their shelf, and when you do, you can go on to read about the three other vulnerability myths, too. Tomorrow, check in with Sam about Chapter 3 of this book, Understanding and Combatting Shame.

And before you go, how have you been vulnerable in the past week? Or, how might you like to try and be vulnerable this week? Leave a comment and let's share the love!

Much love,

the peak and the pit {week 2}

One of our awesome iCoaches in our district started a new podcast series called The Peak and The Pit. Every week she's sharing her high and low, and encouraging all of us to do the same. Be sure to find her on twitter and add your stories to #thepeakandthepit hashtag!

The Peak: BB3
Brezek-Bortscheller-Block 3 is BB3. It's always the kids (well, prob 95% of the time!) Our class is a seven-eight combo class. A few years ago we had to do this for scheduling reasons, and I was happy to hear, because one of my favorite teacher-researchers, Nancie Atwell, also teaches a 7-8 combo class. Why it's amazing? Well, the kids loop. So this year, we have 6 kids who are back and on year two with us. They know Andrea and I, they know the routines, they know what to expect, and so naturally, they help get things done without me even having to ask.

One day, one of them took it upon herself to do some portfolio organization for an absent student. collect all the extra supplies, and remind us as we taught the Signposts that we usually do a certain  formatting with the note-taking.

These six also know that we do not repeat for quiet kids during whole group discussion, so you can count on them to begin the modeling of, "I didn't hear what you said, can you repeat yourself?" Already our seventh graders are learning about our classroom from all angles, including the returners.

And just generally speaking, we have a great class. For me it's great because I love my coteacher. We get along really well, we plan well together, we alternate who is teaching what naturally, and she's just easy going. In one of the letters a returning student wrote on week one, she said something like, "I'm so happy to have two teachers that are best friends." I'm glad the kids see it that way. I do too!

And also, our kids are pretty wonderful too. Our seventh graders are not quite as quiet as I was expecting, and we have a lot of leaders in the seventh grade class, too. They are not afraid to share out with the group and take chances. They are funny, and they are learning our limits, and it's all just good. So good.

I'm so thankful my principals take the time to figure out this logistical nightmare that involves scheduling the combo class so it actually works. I see so much value in it, and I'm hoping we're really going to see the perks in the Map and Parcc data later this year.

So the peak? BB3, most def. 

The pit: I'm clumsy
I fell twice last week.

First time was right outside the cafeteria. I slipped on a banana. The custodian was walking towards me at the moment I fell with a mop, but it was just me trying to move too fast and in too much of a rush. I told a friend in the lounge what happened, and she's like, "What are you, Mario Kart?" That was a super funny interpretation of that situation, I'm still laughing about it! But seriously, I need to JUST. SLOW. DOWN. Right?

Then, later in the week, I was walking into the grocery store during a downpour and totally fell, that time, it was super embarrassing since there were a few people watching, and I am not sure how, but I bruised the inside of my upper arm. It still hurts!

So as you can see, nothing is perfect, but there are certainly great moments in any week!

Be sure to share yours on Twitter - as a tweet, a blog, or any other way you'd like to share, and use #thepeakandthepit hastag to connect with us.

Wishing you many peaks in the coming week!